For Batman’s 77th Anniversary Month, Let’s Talk About His Biggest Failures

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Posted May 12, 2016 by Adeem Khan in Comic Books
Time Travelers Exchange Rate: Those 10 cents are now worth $1,000,000

Time Travelers Exchange Rate: Those 10 cents are now worth $1,000,000

77 years ago the 27th issue of Detective Comics hit the stands, and along with it came The Batman. Batman has come a long way in those 77 years, from fighting common thugs to space gods. From going at it alone, to having an entire Bat-Family dedicated to protecting Gotham. From a cancelled TV show, to a billion dollar movie franchise. Let’s face it, Batman is a pretty successful guy, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t made mistakes. After all, he’s only a man.

Oh, wait

Oh, wait

So this anniversary, let’s celebrate Batman’s biggest failures.

 

1.  The Many Times He Killed People

It is rumored that Zack Synder audibly laughed when reading this panel

It is rumored that Zack Synder audibly laughed when reading this panel

Batman’s a pretty dark guy, but even dark knights have morals. One of Batman’s most famous and trying moral is that he never kills people. Beating them into a coma is still in play though. People are quick to forget that Batman has a long history of murder. With all the love Batman is getting this month, let’s not forget all the bodies he left behind. This anniversary, lets have a eulogy for all those that met their end at the hands of the Batman.

Ah, the infamous snap, crackle and pop

To be fair, most of those kills were before Batman as a character was fully defined and before he grew into the no killing rule. As for Darkseid, he was totally being a huge dick by taking over Earth and everything. He had it coming. But the problem with Batman breaking his no-kill rule every now and then is that it makes it even more jarring whenever he doesn’t. Which brings us to the infamous question, why doesn’t Batman kill the Joker? He’s done terrible things to Batman and his allies, why doesn’t he get a Radion bullet in his chest? That’s something to think about the next time you see Batman murder someone. It almost makes me believe those Batman and Joker fanfics I’ve been reading have some truth to them.

Not Pictured - Batman doing his best french girl pose

Not Pictured – Batman doing his best french girl pose

 

2. The Death of Robins

Press X to Jason

Press X to Jason

It’s well accepted that Batman’s biggest failure and one that has haunted him for a long time is the death of his partner: Jason Todd. It’s a memorable time in comics, when his death seemed final, and his character forever gone. Well, until he came back about 14 years later. While failing to stop Joker is a pretty big failure, we can’t give Batman too much of a hard time about it. Jason’s death was out of his hands. In fact, his death was decided like any good democratic decision: by polling a bunch of nerds.

The poll was promtly brigaded by a group of folks calling themselves 4Chins

The poll was promptly brigaded by a group of folks calling themselves 4Chins

What we can’t forgive Batman for is not learning his lesson. Batman continued to use Robins and he continued to lose them. His own son, Damian Wayne, was one of the more recent casualties. At least Jason Todd came back as a badass new character Red Hood, while Damian Wayne just came back as his normal crazy self. One positive of this failure is that we might be seeing Red Hood on the big screen as well soon, with this teaser in the Batman vs Superman movie:

Batman changed his relationship status to "it's complicated" after receving his 77th aniversary present from his beloved Joker

Batman changed his relationship status to “it’s complicated” after receiving his 77th anniversary present from his beloved Joker

 

3. Everything About All Star Batman & Robin 

Enough said Batman, enough said

Enough said Batman, enough said

Hey guys, what if we take the amazing writer behind Batman: Year One and team him up with the amazing artist Jim Lee. A man (or woman) said this once. They regretted it ever since. Batman as portrayed in All Star is one of the worst representation of Batman. Ever. It makes you wonder if the whole series was just a joke by Frank Miller to see how far DC lets him go. Joke or not, there’s one thing that it actually was: a failure.

Not pictured, people being burned alive in the background. That's not even a joke, that's actually what's going on.

Not pictured: People being burned alive in the background while Batman makes out with Black Canary. That’s not even a joke, that’s actually what’s going on.

Although the series has been critically panned and despised by fans, there’s one person who actually loved it. One dark and tortured person who finally found fun in the pages of All Star Batman & Robin. Someone who thought he’ll never be happy, finding happiness on the blood of his enemies.

"Ah yes, life is good. All this killing takes me back to the time before my parent's died. Good times. Goooood times.

“Ah yes, life is good. All this killing takes me back to the time before my parents died. Good times. Goooood times.”

 

There you guys have it. Three of the biggest failures of Batman’s long career as a crime fighter (sometimes crime lover). So this anniversary, remind yourself that no one is perfect. For those that now feel bad for Batman, remember that he is still a billionaire and he’s still the “goddamn Batman”.

 

Bonus:

Someone actually sculpted that

Someone actually sculpted that


About the Author

Adeem Khan