Quick Reviews of Stupid Comics 6-16-17

Posted June 17, 2017 by Chad Waller in Comic Books

Holy shit where did June go? We’re already halfway through it. That’s fucked. Also holy shit, I’m more tired than drunk and didn’t read that many comics this week. Well, that’s only half true–I just did full reviews of a few of them, meaning this post is going to be a bit thin. Is that okay? Can you dig it? Pickax or shovel? I feel like if I were a dwarf, I’d use a pickax instead of a shovel because that’s more dwarfly. Do I look like a ditch-digging dwarf? Yeah Middle Earth needs those too, but I’d rather mine.

That’s totally bullshit. My hands are softer than my dick. I cry when they get dirty. I’m a poet dwarf, a painter. I want to draw pictures of flowers that look like vaginas and pretend my parents aren’t embarrassed at my lack of a beard. Seriously, it comes in as pubic hairs. It’s so fucking gross.

Oh. This was supposed to be about comics…

Regression #2

There are a few books out that are aping on shock horror and lots of gross insects right now. At least one other is by Image, though I can’t remember the name. The thing is, Regression did it first insomuch as I don’t remember any others doing it first, and it’s also doing it the best. I actually feel for the main character, and the surrealist horror works really well with the art style. It’s a bit more minimalist than I’d like, but it also pulls zero punches. I give it a thumbs up.

Legion of Super Heroes Bugs Bunny Special

There’s a lot to say about this book, but I don’t have the time or patience. Let’s just say it’s not good, it’s too self referential to be funny, and while Bugs Bunny is amusing , half his jokes feel obligatory. It’s a setlist of his biggest hits without the proper context. The human characters are also terrible. To be honest, I’m a bit offended. Bugs Bunny deserves better. We deserve better. You guys realize that right? You who buy DC books week after week. You fucking deserve better. Stoppit. Go read something good. Fuck’s sake.

Kill the Minotaur #1

It’s a bit unfair for me to read a book based on the old Greek Minotaur myth when I’ve recently read House of Leaves which also plays with that myth but in a really interesting way. That was all about subtext and trickery and what is real. This, this is a fantasy plot thriller thing. It’s fun, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t do anything interesting. The main character is an asshole, the Minotaur is a Minotaur, and we’re about to combine the two. Blood will spill, bla bla bla. The artwork is fine, and I think it’ll be a fun ride, but in the end, it’ll be disposable.

Normandy Gold #1

This book is solid. We got a cop on the phone with her sister as she gets murdered, and now she’s off to do some crime solving by posing as a hooker! It’s dark as fuck, and maybe a bit predictable, but it’s written really well and the art is solid.  You could do worse this week. DC and Marvel published a lot of garbage because they always do.

That fuckin’ Weird-Ass Batman Comic

Man, what the fuck is up with Batman? Like, I don’t even know how to process this strange comic whose title I can’t remember and can’t be bothered to look up. Something about DARK. Is there a lord? Is Voldemort in this? Probably. God knows everyone else was. It’s a weird jumble with a strangely-captivating mystery that kept me going, and I guess I didn’t hate it, so that’s cool. But I didn’t like it, so that’s not as cool. Luke warm. It can’t quite hit piss-levels of hot. Piss is 98.6, while this is like 71.4.

Get Fuzzy: Groovitude

So I found this old collection of Get Fuzzy comics in my car that was supposed to go to Good Will but is now mine and no one else can have it. For those not in the know, Get Fuzzy is a gag-a-day comic strip is these strange things called NEWSPAPERS! Yuck, right? They don’t even have good interfaces! But the comic is fun in that newspaper way, and it’s a bit more vulgar/offensive than your average newspaper comic. Also Bucky is kind of awesome. I’m having fun! Also holy shit this was published in 2002. I was in middle school.

BRB falling into a pit of existential despair.

About the Author

Chad Waller

Chad Waller is the cofounder of Dual Wield Software, a two-man video game company that just published The Land of Glass on Steam. You should check it out! You can follow him on Twitter @DualWieldSoft and find his company page on Facebook with a quick search.