Quick Reviews of Stupid Comics 9-15-17

Posted September 15, 2017 by Chad Waller in Comic Books

Word of advice to all the kids out there: Gin is not a weekday drink. Like it’s good, don’t get me wrong. If your parents have some, sneak into their liqueur cabinet and bottoms up, but save it for a Friday or Saturday. That shit’ll give you a really bad hangover. You can just smell it when you sweat. Pine needles everywhere. Be responsible when you’re underage drinking, okay? That’s all I ask. If you don’t, Donald Trump will get elected for a second term.

Comic books and shit. Fuck.

Batman Metal #2

It fucking sucks. It’s like reading a really shitty manga where nothing makes sense and every plot point is delivered like a punch in the face. Subtlety? What’s that? You’re bleeding from my right hook motherfucker! Exposition is everywhere, and on the whole, it’s just way too stupid for how up its own ass it is. Batman is terrible guys. He fucking sucks like Dragonball Z fucking sucks, and while it’s okay to like that, we all gotta admit it fucking sucks.

Redlands #2

Competent but boring. I didn’t care for the first issue at all, and while this is an improvement, it’s only marginally so. The artwork is still hit-or-miss, being great on anything not involving people and mostly not great on anything involving people. The time jump makes me wonder why the first issue was even a fucking thing, and the “Let’s pretend to be True Detective but with real magic” isn’t jiving with me, even though that’s a good idea.

Realm #1

Competent but boring. It’s another interesting idea with a lazy execution: What if it was the post apocalyptic future but there’s magic! Sounds fun. Shame it’s not. Like, this one might get better; I’ll try the next issue or two, but I don’t have my hopes up.

Retcon #1

Man, this thing is a fucking mess. It’s another idea I don’t hate–urban fantasy shit where there are soldiers with powers that kill magical shit for the government–but again, the execution is terrible. So there’s some dude suffering PTSD going to AA meetings and just throwing out pictures of everything because he’s sad? Really? That’s fucking ridiculous. And then the writing/lettering is so goddamned clumsy that I can’t tell who is talking to whom half the fucking time. At least the artwork is really, really cool. Some neat visual storytelling too.

Mister Miracle #2

Hey, a good book! I like this thing. It’s got a cool vibe with a cool stuff and it doesn’t afraid of nothing (remember that fucking gem from 2008?). I wish Tom King would lay off the nine-panel page, which are now borderline insufferable, but even then, the visuals are great and the book is certainly written/drawn around the style. It shows. There’s really a lot to like here, though it’s not quite as disturbing as the first issue. Hopefully that’ll return though. This be a good book.

Kill or Be Killed #12

Okay, so I still  like this book, but now there are caveats. With the supernatural shit gone and Dylan no longer going crazy, it’s starting to feel a bit generic. Oh some asshole is after the Russian mob. He’s an asshole, but since Russian mobsters are bigger assholes, it’s okay! What saves it all is the writing is wonderful, the artwork is wonderful, and a third thing is probably wonderful. I dunno. Fuck off. Let me have this.

Genius Cartel #2

I really keep meaning to actually review this when I’m not drunk and stupid. This book is good. It’s a good Top Cow book. This really is the darkest fucking timeline. (But seriously it’s fucking solid and I’m so jiving with every stupid thing it’s doing.)

About the Author

Chad Waller

Chad Waller is the cofounder of Dual Wield Software, a two-man video game company that just published The Land of Glass on Steam. You should check it out! You can follow him on Twitter @DualWieldSoft and find his company page on Facebook with a quick search.