Sci-Fi September: The Five TV Vehicles We Want In Real Life

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Posted September 24, 2014 by John Newby in Nerdy Bits

Science Fiction is possibly the greatest style of fiction ever created. Humans and aliens coexist, space travel is commonplace, and robotics are a lot more important to life than the Roomba. In fact, Science Fiction is so great that We The Nerdy dedicated a full month to honoring it. Unfortunately, we aren’t allowed to cruise around the galaxy in awesome vehicles because they haven’t been invented yet, but that’s not very fun. Instead, let’s pretend that these awesome vehicles from television are real and figure out which ones would be the best to own in real life.

Important Criteria: I made the decision on these TV vehicles based on what I think would be cool to own. That’s it.

 

The Planet Express

PlanetExpress

If you spent any time watching cartoons as a child/teenager/grown-ass man, you probably encountered the hapless delivery crew from Futurama. This crew, led by Bender, traveled around the Milky Way acting as a goofy version of FedEx in the large ship known as the Planet Express. Unfortunately, this ship has a string of bad luck and ends up wrecked multiple times. However, I don’t care about the damage, nor do I want the car (ship?) fax. The Planet Express is really cool, and I want it in my garage.

Let’s be honest, the Planet Express is one of the coolest ships in the galaxy for the simple fact that it can withstand any punishment. Plus, the Planet Express is fully stocked with weapons and a custom light speed engine. Add in a martini-chugging autopilot, and the ship gets even better. The Planet Express may not have all of the technological features of other ships, but it could still be pretty fun.

The Tardis

Tardis

The Tardis is known for being the main vehicle in Doctor Who. This spaceship/time machine was created the Time Lords of Gallifrey, but it was “stolen” by the Doctor. Eventually, the Tardis ended up in London where the Chameleon Circuit was broken, causing the Tardis to permanently stay in the shape of a 1960’s police box.

Do I really need to explain why the Tardis would be a fantastic vehicle for real life? NO? Well, too bad because I’m going to explain it anyway.

The Tardis is a freaking time travel device that travels through space! That’s a pretty cool thing to have, especially when the Tardis is roughly the same size as a refrigerator. You may be wondering why the Tardis is so essential when it’s a small spaceship. Well, the Tardis is actually quite large on the inside. In fact, the Tardis has been described as a vehicle of infinite size, complete with squash courts and a swimming pool. If swimming in space doesn’t sound appealing to you, then maybe we shouldn’t be friends.

Serenity

serenity-ship

Serenity is quite possibly the most random ship to include on this list, but how could I leave it out? Mal Reynolds’ iconic ship has been compared to the Millennium Falcon, but it deserves a separate place on the list of all-time cool ships. Reynolds used this ship to transport cargo and avoid run-ins with the Alliance, but he accomplished this with extra style because Serenity had no known weapons.

Why would I want a small ship that has constantly been called a hunk of junk? Well, Serenity is small, but it’s fast with enough room for 9 crew members and plenty of cargo. Additionally, the smaller size of Serenity will come in handy for those quick missions or date nights, especially when parking is limited. Who wants to take a gigantic spaceship to the packed movie theater when the hot, new summer blockbuster is being released?

The Starship Enterprise

STC_Enterprise

In the history of television, there is possibly no more recognizable ship than the USS Enterprise. It doesn’t matter which version is being used. What matters is how cool this ship is. The USS Enterprise has taken crews around the galaxy and throughout time in search of strange, new worlds and all sorts of adventures. In fact, the Enterprise is so styling that Captain Kirk used it as a “tail-getting machine” for many years.

Of course, the Enterprise works well for many other crews and settings, but why would it work in real life? Well, I could use the Enterprise to cruise around and explore the Milky Way. Plus, I could use the transporters to quickly get to work in the morning. Who needs to wake up early when you can just say “Energize”? Seriously, the USS Enterprise would be freaking awesome and almost indestructible, which would work well with my klutziness.

The Satellite of Love

SatelliteofLove

Look, the Satellite of Love isn’t the largest, fastest, or most expensive ship in the galaxy. In fact, the beloved ship from Mystery Science Theater 3000 doesn’t even compare to the other ships on this list when technology is involved. However, the SOL has a few essential touches of home that make it way cooler than the rest. For starters, MST3K the Movie showcased the impressive hamster wheel treadmill and fluid dispersion system. I’m almost positive that Kirk wasn’t working on his cardio like Mike Nelson was.

Of course, nothing quite compares to the Satellite of Love’s main feature—a movie theater. We don’t know much about this theater beyond the fact that it has seats and a screen, but does that really matter? The only thing that I care about is the fact that the Satellite of Love has a movie theater in space! Who needs mood lighting or Barry White when you can simply show your date a unique view of the earth? Fiddy Cent can’t compare to that.

 

Obviously, we won’t have any of these vehicles available in real life, but I don’t care. I just prefer fantasizing about cruising the galaxy in some sweet rides. So, what vehicles from TV science fiction would you want in real life? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter.


About the Author

John Newby

A random dude obsessed with coffee, blue heelers, and most nerdy things. Big fan of Star Wars, Borderlands, Arrow/Flash, and a whole lotta video games. The Saboteur is underrated, and Silverado is the best movie ever made.