Talkin’ Bout Rasslin

Posted September 6, 2013 by Brian Caudill in Nerdy Bits

Welcome back all lovers of professional wrestling, the action soap opera we all love to hate that we love. Boy, it was extra sappy this week. Let’s get right to the tears…

FACT: Giant tears are the secret ingredient in Red Lobster biscuits

So the storyline here is that Big Show is that even though Big Show has an “iron-clad contract,” he’s scared of being fired…because he lost all of his money in bad investments….AND he’s going to die soon because he’s a giant. You can’t make this stuff up. Well you probably could five minutes before the show starts with Triple H and Vince breathing down your neck. I know all of this has been done before (see Shawn Michaels and JBL), but the whole “you’re broke” storyline has never worked for me. In fact, the only way I could ever see it working would be if it was Ric Flair, but that was pretty much his entire TNA run, right? Also, Stephanie on the mic has gotten pretty unbearable. Most of the show was dedicated to trying to force Show into a match with Daniel Bryan, which eventually came to fruition in the main event. The show ended Triple H forcing Show to hit a battered Bryan with the WMD punch. Of course more crying would ensue… Night of Champions is in less than two weeks now, and I still don’t see Bryan getting his revenge. My guess is a Big Show heel turn on Bryan to join the New Corporation.

The announce team is really selling the fact that no one can speak up in the back against Triple H’s new regime. Cody Rhodes decided to test this, and the result was an excellent match against Randy Orton with his career on the line. Cody was unsuccessful, but they kind of foreshadowed this by Triple H mentioning Cody’s upcoming wedding and how he wasn’t invited. This could’ve all been prevented with just one extra invitation.

More tears?

The rest of Raw wasn’t anything special. Punk continues to hype his feud with Heyman, and RVD is going to face off with Del Rio at Night of Champions in what will be a great match with terrible build-up. AJ Lee came back this week after her pipe bomb to interfere in a match featuring the cast of Total Divas. She ended up getting laid out in the ring, and we now have a fatal fourway at Night of Champions for the Diva’s Championship with AJ defending against Brie Bella, Trinity, and Natalya. The only possible outcome of this match that would make happy would be all of the Total Divas stars running towards AJ, she ducks out of the way, they run into each other knocking themselves out Looney Toons style, and AJ pins them all at once. WWE has done a great job of keeping the storylines from Divas separate from Raw and Smackdown. These girls aren’t wrestlers (except Natalya), and they now have their own thing: fake storylines about getting drunk, losing it over instagram comments, and screwing their boyfriends on their own show.

Impact Wrestling featured a “pipe bomb” of their own this week. AJ Styles came out and aired his grievances with the company. I put pipe bomb in quotations because it was weak. He came out and told us about all of the years he put in the company, and how he’s always been the workhorse. He claimed that Dixie brought in all of these new talents that rose to the top while he kept putting on great matches, and he started to hate being the workhorse. Now he realizes that he’s okay being the workhorse. Huh? If you’re confused by that, welcome to the club. It was going in the right direction, but he refused to name any names or call anyone out. The promo essentially came down to “I loved my job, then I hated it, but now I love it again.” I guess we can all relate, eh?

Hogan also announced at the end of Impact that the Bound for Glory series will be continuing this week with a second chance battle royal. I imagine this will open the door for Styles to get into the finals of the series and possibly go on to main event Bound for Glory. At this point, I can’t really see any other direction the main event could go in. I know that there is dissension in the ranks of Aces and 8’s right now, and there’s currently build up for a Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson match. I just don’t see it happening at Bound for Glory. Maybe Anderson will cost Bully the title? This week, we also get to see Sting against Bully. It’s just weird seeing Sting continuing to wrestle in a t-shirt.




Cody Rhodes vs Randy Orton from Monday Night Raw was the best by a bunch this week. These two have great chemistry together, and anyone who saw their series of matches a few years back on Smackdown knows it. Randy kicked out of the Disaster Kick and Crossroads, and eventually sealed the victory with an RKO after Cody tweaked his knee.

Check back next week, where we’ll take a walk through the eras of WWE wrestling. Rasslin!

About the Author

Brian Caudill

Lover of all things nerdy. Life-long pro wrestling fan. Occasional eater of worlds.