Talkin’ Bout Rasslin!

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Posted August 20, 2013 by Brian Caudill in Nerdy Bits

Welcome everyone to the inaugural edition of Talkin’ Bout Rasslin! This is your one stop shop for all things professional wrestling. I’ll be covering all shows for WWE, TNA, and the occasional ROH or NJPW show that tickles my fancy, and I’ll include my match of the week. But you’ll learn all of that soon enough, let’s talk about some rasslin!

Rasslin!

First things first, Summerslam was amazing. This PPV was hands down the best of the year, even besting Wrestlemania 29. The card was stacked, and it lived up to the hype. The pre-show match pitted Dean Ambrose against Rob Van Dam for the United States title and went for 20-30 minutes. The match was solid and did a great job of keeping Ambrose looking strong without killing the excitement of RVD. As thrown together as the team is, I’m really looking forward to seeing Reigns and Rollins vs Henry and Big Show. It’s all but written on the walls that the Shield’s push is ending soon. The Wyatt’s are taking the spot of “faction that randomly attacks members of the roster.”

Speaking of the Wyatt’s, Bray Wyatt opened up the show with his debut match against Kane in a Ring of Fire. The match was crap, but it didn’t have to be anything special. I’ve fallen for the Wyatts. Let’s face it, what’s not awesome about a group of bearded, rape-y cult rednecks? JBL was pretty dead on when he called the Wyatt family a cross of the Robertson Clan from Duck Dynasty fame and Charles Manson. They could’ve announced David Arquette as the newest family member last night, and I still would’ve enjoyed the match. Anyway, Kane was set up to leave to film his next movie with a beat down after the match.

Rhodes vs Sandow was a pleasant surprise on the card. It was a quick back and forth match. There wasn’t anything special, but these two have great chemistry. Thank God Cody shaved the mustache. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the look, but the “Cody’s mustache!” chants were getting unbearable. Another big surprise was the World Heavyweight Championship match with Del Rio vs Christian. The buildup for this match was pretty much Christian saying “one more match.” I imagine Christian will probably just fade back into the mid-card until he retires.

Let’s go ahead and get into the top of the card. There were two matches last night that are both easily on my contender list for match of the year. First up Brock Lesnar and CM Punk went to war. From the start, this match was fast paced, hard hitting, and had almost non-stop action. It’s also a good way to show all of the Attitude Era fanatics that you can have an amazing hardcore match without shedding blood. The match was so even, that you almost forgot that Punk is half the size of Lesnar. Brock getting the victory means that we’ll probably get at least one more match, and that’s enough to keep me excited (and hungry for Jimmy Johns, DAMN YOU LESNAR!).

FINISH HIM!

The final match of the night exhausted me. I felt like I ran a marathon just watching these guys go. I’m a diehard Daniel Bryan mark, and he passed the ultimate test…carrying Cena through an amazing match. I kid of course. I disagree with most of the internet wrestling to community, and I don’t think Cena is completely awful. He’s had some of the best matches in the company through the past few years, and it’s not because he’s being carried. If you’re truly that bad in the ring, no one can carry you. Just watch any Khali match. This crowd was hot for the whole match, and it was definitely a pro-Bryan crowd. After multiple submissions and false finishes, Bryan pinned Cena clean, finishing the match with the running knee seen above. After the match is where things get fishy (or maybe slithery all things considered?). Triple H turned on Bryan during his celebration, giving him a pedigree. This was all followed by Mr. Baby Oil himself, Randy Orton, cashing in his Money in the Bank contract to become the new WWE Champion. While this is upsetting for any Daniel Bryan fan like myself, this move is great for business. The money is in the chase. Fans are going to tune in just to see if Bryan will finally get back the belt. It’s also interesting because of the Triple H heel turn. We all knew that Orton would somehow be involved in the main event, and it was heavily hinted that he would cash in, but I had no idea how it would all go down.

Some of the biggest WWE news coming out (pun intended) of the week was Darren Young announcing that he is homosexual. I’m glad to see that he felt comfortable enough to come out. My experience with other wrestling fans is that they aren’t always the most tolerant. I remember watching one of my first live shows as a kid, and all of the fans were chanting “wetback” at Chavo Guerrero. This could be the start of a big push for Young’s career. I’m sure he’ll now be a spokesperson for Be A Star. It’s a good thing we’re no longer in the Attitude Era. Vince McMahon circa 1998 would definitely have surrounded Darren Young with flamboyant men in banana hammocks and had him feud with the Godfather.

How to fix Impact, more Hogan!! …right?

Impact Wrestling this week held it’s live and free Hardcore Justice event. Let me just say this up front: I haven’t enjoyed TNA since 2009. I’m not saying that Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff ruined it for me, but my dislike for the product started around the same time they came in to the company. My biggest problem with the product is that it feels like every member of the roster is wrestling each other every week. No one is kept separated from one another to build up big matches like we got at Summerslam with Bryan and Cena or Punk and Lesnar. You have tournaments like the Bound for Glory Series where almost all of your main eventers wrestle each other on a weekly basis. Even gimmick matches like the ladder match and table match we had on Thursday can’t save it for me. Don’t even get me started on bringing in washed up MMA fighters to be the “main attractions” of the roster. The main event wasn’t terrible, but it was terribly predictable. If you’ve followed any part of Tito Ortiz’s career, you know that he’s always played a natural heel. Hell, his nickname was the “Huntington Beach Bad Boy,” what did you expect?

The best piece of TNA news this week was the firing of Brook Hogan. I’m starting to believe this might be a work, especially after they showed Bully Ray backstage plotting backstage on the phone to “Brooke.” It just seems too strange that they would start teasing a heel turn for her character so soon before firing her from the company. Maybe this is a sign of good things to come. *Wishful thinking*

 

MATCH OF THE WEEK: CM PUNK VS BROCK LESNAR

Decisions, Decisions. I had a tough time picking just one match as the best match of the week. Bryan vs Cena was a close second, but what really put Punk vs Lesnar over the top was the brutality. I felt those chair shots through the screen.

Thanks for reading guys. Check back next week for more Rasslin!!


About the Author

Brian Caudill

Lover of all things nerdy. Life-long pro wrestling fan. Occasional eater of worlds.