Welcome back you beautiful people to another edition the Four-Sided Ring! I think the only way I can start this column is by talking about the opening of Raw. By that I mean, let me open the door for you to my nightmares. Cena came out to start the show, and for the first time ever didn’t “Rise Above Hate.” He asked the fans why they would put him up against all three Wyatts, and almost seemed upset at the fans. This was a rare bit of honesty that we usually don’t see from Cena’s character. This was probably his first promo I haven’t half-tuned out of in the last decade. He was interrupted by a children’s choir singing “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands,” followed by the Wyatt’s appearing. Bray and friends trotted down to the ring leading his class from Vacation Bible School, where the children surrounded the ring donning sheep masks. It was all just perfect.
Obviously the point of this is to tease a Cena heel turn. I’m under the belief that we’ll never see heel Cena again. The guy grants too many wishes and sells way too much merchandise to the kiddos. PLUS, Cena has stated he has no intention of ever turning heel for the rest of his career. At least he’s in a good spot right now getting to put over the new talent.
Over in the WWE World Heavyweight Championship realm, Bryan received a beating of a lifetime from Kane last week. This week, Stephanie wanted to apologize to Bryan for the beating last week by giving Brie a Diva’s title match against Paige. During said match, Kane opened a hole in the ring and tried to grab Brie (and take her to helllllll!!!!!), but Bryan managed to fight him off with a wrench. Nope, I swear to you I’m not making this up. The whole feud has become more bearable now that I realized it’s not so much Kane vs Bryan as it is Stephanie vs Bryan. And the more Stephanie on my screen the better.
Ric Flair popped in before the main event. I assumed that Flair wasn’t brought back for the Evolution reunion, because with Ric’s legend status comes a big pop with the fans. The crowd won’t boo Flair which would go against the dynamic of this whole feud. After blabbering like a drunk putting over all of the old fun times he used to have with Evolution, Flair gave his endorsement to the Shield. The two teams brawled before the Shield finally got the upper hand. The 3 on 3 match is set up for the Sunday at Extreme Rules, and by all means it should be the main event.
Other happenings on Raw:
- Barrett is the #1 contender for the IC Title. Let’s hope the crowd continues booming when he hits the Bull Hammer
- Hornswoggle vs El Torito in a WeeLC match will be incredibly offensive and awesome all at once
- Remember the awesome tag division we had late last year? The Rhodes Brothers are breaking up. The Prime Time Players broke up and both members are now jobbing. Tons of Funk is done. New Age Outlaws are back to being behind the scenes help. At least we still have Rybaxel!
- Deam Ambrose is now the longest reigning US Champion of all time. My idea is to have Bo Dallas debut and be put into a US Title match with Ambrose. Evolution interferes/distracts Ambrose and Dallas wins the title. The US Title becomes a way to elevate the new guys.
TNA Sacrifice was last Sunday, and I can’t talk too much about it as I had better things to do with my money like hookers and blow. Just kidding. Not Really. I actually was able to catch a little of the show, and I was impressed with the beating Storm and Gunner put each other through in their I Quit match. The Wolves captured the Tag Titles and Eric Young retained the TNA Championship. The match quality in TNA has never really been the problem. The reason why I can’t bring myself to buy their Pay-per-Views is because there is rarely any long term booking. The Eric Young/Magnus program started two weeks ago. Not only that, but they give us championship matches every other week for free. I’m not invested enough to shell out cash.
That’s all I have this week. Don’t forget, we have an awesome Extreme Rules PPV coming up this Sunday. Check back every week for more rasslin’ talk!
