Okay, so I’m pretty fucking sauced on martinis for this one, so let’s see where this fucker goes:
It was midnight when Batman started eating The Joker. His dick was just mega fucking hard. Like dribbling cum hard. He had six bites laid (get it) on a plate, and he planned on chewing each one six times. Six. Six. Six. This was some devil shit yo. Like, the most satanic cannibalism ever. He took his first bite. It was stringy. The Joker isn’t known for being fat or fatty or anything more than thin gristle. It was pretty shit meat if Batman was being honest with himself, which he always is because he is Batman. Batman doesn’t lie unless it’ll save Gotham or protect his ego or both. Also, he loves Aquaman and they have the buttsex every other Wednesday because Odin is his favorite Jesus God.
Batman finishes his meal with a smile, though not because it tastes good. He’s only used to the most vegan of delicatessens. Holy shit, Firefox knows how to spell that word. Batman awards points to Firefox. Firefox is pretty cute if you Google her hard enough.
Which Batman does!
TO BE CONTINUED
Astro City # 48
This is the best book that came out this week. It’s maybe a little heavy on the words, but theyr’e all good words. It’s also adorable, wonderful, and exceptionally cute. Those words might all mean the same thing. Basically Kurt Busiek is the best. I actually got misty eyed at the end. I knew the end was coming but it was still sad as fuck. Goddamn this book is good. Go buy this one and the one before it. Read this shit. Get your eyes words deep in its gooey center!
Kill or Be Killed # 13
My big worry was that the strange would leave Kill or Be Killed and it would become this … book about killing gangsters. Issue #13 is telling me to fuck right the hell off. The strange returns! Goddamn this book is amazing. The writing is killer; whether it’s going dark and crazy or light-hearted and insane, the words are always perfect. Dylan is an amazing character. Everything is good. The good is here and it is everything and everything is fucking good and oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd
Maestros #1
What happens when a comedy book doesn’t have it’s first joke until page eight? It sucks. Okay, that’s being a little harsh, but still. This book ain’t great. Every good idea is offset by a piece of bad execution, so while I laughed here and there and enjoyed bits of it, I came away underwhelmed as all fuck. I won’t be coming back for the second issue.
Kid Lobotomy #1
I don’t know if this is a good or bad book. I liked parts, and I disliked other parts. It’s creepy and strange and goofy and maybe edgy. I normally dig those things. But it’s also…too much? I’m reminded of say, Elfen Lied which goes out of its way to just be shocking. It can work, and it cannot. I don’t know where this is yet. One issue is too few to tell.
Batman The Drowned #1
I’m positive I can write a better Batman story than Dan Abnett.
Kill the Minotaur #5
Okay, so quick edit, but I just read this one. Solid fuckin’ book. Maybe it’s the booze talking–totes is–but man, that bait-n-switch was awesome! I’m honestly really surprised and happy with where this story has gone. It started out as a somewhat juvenile retelling of an old myth, but it’s turned into something so much better than that. The characters have come into their own, and the body horror/mythology has warped into something really quite cool. I dig it lots.
