Wheels in the sky keep on turnin’ / I know where I’ll be tomorrow / Nazi’s gonna die keep me yearnin / Wolfenstein Wolfenstein Wolfenstein The New Order
Those are the lyrics to a famous REO Speedwagon song! It’s like they’re prophetic or something! Did you know REO stands for random epinephrine orgasms? I didn’t either. Life is pretty crazy sometimes. Like today, I walked into a fucking Best Buy of all places to buy a fucking CD of all things, and it was basically an empty store with a few bored employees looking at me like I was the prophesied patron told of yore! And then they said it, a man who doesn’t shave very well and is wearing a sweatshirt shall walk in to ye of little faith store and buy the new Trivium album for 10.99 with a credit card!
Yeah, this isn’t as funny as the Batman porn thing I wrote last week, but I’m not all that drunk. Sorry everyone. Maybe next week I’ll continue it.
Comic books.
Hack/Slash Resurrection #1
It fucking sucks. Main character is a Mary Sue who is super pretty, makes a living playing video games, kills monsters, and spends most of the comic in her underwear probably so we can oggle her. Everything is boring and stupid save the cat, but that’s like cheating at this point. There aren’t bad cats in comics unless it’s Garfield or some shit. Fuck him. He’s the worst cat. Fat fucker hates Mondays like he has anything to do on a Monday. Every day is Sunday when you’re a cat.
Glitterbomb Fame Game #2
It’s more Glitterbomb, so it’s already better than pretty much everything else that came out this week save maybe Deadly Class. The thing is though, it’s a step back. The monster talks too much. Having the spooky monster running on orange/blue morality talking too much just kinda ruins it. It’s a rookie mistake honestly, and kind of strange to see. Thankfully everything else is good, with lots of nice character moments and drama. You know, Glitterbomb.
Underwinter: Field of Feathers #1
It’s strangely coherent for an Underwinter book, but still fantastic. Pretty artwork with all sorts of cool stuff going on. I dunno. I’ve read and reviewed like six of these, and yeah this is a new story with new characters, but Ray Fawkes gonna Ray Fawkes. It’s the same good shit as before, just…more coherent. Also creepy. Less Lovecraft more surreal? I like it. I’m excited to see where it goes.
Wayward #24
It’s Wayward so it’s good–strange how Jim Zub can do that–but like with Glitterbomb, a bit of a step back. Rori’s “I’m hanging with my dad and his friends” thing has gotten old, and yeah the fight scene is cool but the writing just isn’t as good as it should be. I expect more from this comic. Also the cliffhanger is bullshit. I don’t buy the danger for a fucking second.
Nightwing The New Order #3
Oh man, so this is an interesting issue. On the one hand it’s got a lot of exposition, but on the other the book has earned its exposition and the information is all really cool. So you know, how you’re supposed to handle exposition. There are some obligatory moments of action that aren’t amazing, but the between stuff is all rock solid. Great character work, great world building, and the ending cliffhanger is danger I do buy. I’m really enjoying this miniseries.
Batman The Merciless #1
Fucking fuck. This is the fourth DC Metal tie-in series, and it’s the fourth book to go “Evil Batman gets evil powers and kills someone in the Justice League but in a universe that doesn’t matter.” All the while, half the words are fucking exposition, and the other half are stupid. Like, it was fun when Batman was killing The Flash, but now it’s just stupid. At least the art is good. Say what you will about these books, but the artwork is pretty. They look good. Chop all the dialogue and you might have something worth paging through.
