So my drunken dumbass self says this should become a running gag because it’s positive reinforcement for my high-functioning alcoholism. Everybody wins save my liver, but he’s an asshole so fuck him. NO ONE LIKES YOU LIVER! YOU ARE CHOPPED LIVER.
Get it?
Alright, sorry. Let’s talk some stupid comics that came out this week.
Bug The Adventures of Forager #1
Well, this comic sucked pretty hard, didn’t it? Protip (from a not pro), if you want to hit surrealism, let your characters shut the fuck up. Every time this thing veered towards the interesting, it ruined it by having some dumbass character say some dumbass thing until I stopped caring, which admittedly was pretty early on. That I almost made it to the end is kind of surprising. 20/22 pages! I just couldn’t force myself through those last two. The teddy bear was gone, and it stole my patience. Were I a gamblin’ man, I’d bet this is how all the shitty superhero comics from the 70’s read. God knows the art style looked old and tired as hell.
Regression #1
Holy shit Regression, could you play with my emotions more? This thing starts off pretty great with some awesome gross-out horror with a dude vomiting bugs and hallucinating. But then the dumbass decides going to see a hypnotist is his best bet. Like, come on. Fuck you. Thankfully, it ends strong with the hypnotist turning into a corpse and the supernatural getting even more supernatural. The artwork is pretty solid too, though a bit more style might have gone a long way. Still, a solid first showing. Count me in.
Rock Candy Mountain #2
I can’t tell if this comic is smart stupid or stupid stupid, but it reminds me of a Cartoon Network cartoon combined with an Adult Swim cartoon. That is a good thing. It’s crass, stylized, and strangely large in scope. I’m honestly a huge fan. I love the artwork and the hobo lore, and while the action usually isn’t great, everything else is just a tun of fun. I’m happy to follow this wherever it wants to go.
My Little Pony: Legends of Magic #2
Oi, if you’re going to try and world build, at least pick something worth world building on. And oi, if you’re going to try and world build, don’t frame it as some dumbass telling another dumbass a story. Talk about killing all the fucks I wanted to give. It was a murder of fucks. Crows everywhere. Dead crows. Those poor fucks. Look at them, the dead things. They smell bad.
Wayward Vol 4
No it didn’t come out this week, but I’m rereading Wayward and it fucking rules. Go pick this beast of awesome up ya schmuck.
Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2
Not a comic book, but based on one. I saw it this week and had a good time. The villain sucks, some of the character work is unearned, but the ending is awesome and Rocket is great. Baby Groot is too. So is Drax. Basically a fun Marvel movie. You could do worse. The Nebula and Ghamoorrroa scenes were weak though. Like, I get that they needed to show up, but come on. It felt obligatory.
All Star Batman #10
To be honest, I like the idea of Alfred telling the story and pretending Bruce is his kid, but there’s too much talking and I have better things to do than read another shitty Batman story, even if there’s a good gimmick. I’m thinking I’ll mix another, have a quick wank, and play some video games.
Happy comics. Cept the shitty ones.
