The Very Best Borderlands Characters

The Best Borderlands Characters

Gearbox has officially announced a new Borderlands, albeit one that is set between Borderlands 1 and 2. This game, known as Borderlands: the Pre-Sequel, is being developed by 2K Australia and features new playable characters and a new location. This announcement made me so excited that I decided to go back and choose which characters are the very best from Borderlands 1 and 2, as well as the DLC. Note: I know that Borderlands is light on story, but the series still features some great characters.

Marcus Kincaid

Marcus is mainly known as the owner of Marcus Munitions and a random quest-giver, but he is so much more than that. Marcus is the first character that you ever meet in the Borderlands universe, as he is the bus driver who takes the original vault hunters to Fyrestone. More importantly, Marcus is the main narrator for the campaign and all of the DLC packs. His story-telling ability lends entertainment value to the slightly lacking story. The story-telling ability is great, but the absolute best part of Marcus is his willingness to murder anyone who gets in his way or simply requests a refund. His personality is friendly, but you don’t want to screw with him.

General Alphonso Knoxx

General Alphonso Knoxx only shows up during the Secret Armory of General Knoxx DLC, but he is absolutely worth including. To start off, General Knoxx doesn’t even want to fight the vault hunters. His main goal is leaving Pandora, a planet that he compares to Bacon Hemorrhoids. The majority of time in this DLC pack is spent listening to General Knoxx complain about everything while telling very dry jokes. You eventually fight General Knoxx, but it’s essentially assisted suicide. Knoxx wants you to kill him, so he can be done with the stupid planet. Your reward for killing General Knoxx is unrestricted access to his fully stocked armory. Not too shabby, in my opinion.

Handsome Jack

Handsome Jack is an evil bastard. There are absolutely no redeeming qualities to Jack besides his wit…and his charm…and his looks. You know what? Jack is actually pretty awesome. There, I said it. Jack may be a heartless @ssh*le who sacrifices his daughter to gain ultimate power, but he’s not that bad. His nonstop taunting of the vault hunters throughout Borderlands 2 actually gets pretty entertaining. One of the first things Jack does is tell you about his wonderful horse named Butt Stallion. There wasn’t a point to the story, but he somehow used it to insult the vault hunters in an entertaining way. Jack’s story is filled with delightful moments, and I never tire of them, even after multiple playthroughs.

Brick

Brick could best be described as a giant, treasure-obsessed child. Brick was one of the original vault hunters, but he didn’t have the best personality. Luckily, Gearbox changed Brick for Borderlands 2 and gave him a sense of humor and actual lines of dialogue. Brick became a character that was obsessed with finding treasure, punching bad guys, and being as bad@ss as possible. He is such a great person that his gang members willingly run to their death on his behalf. Actually, this may be caused by the fact that Brick hires morons for his gang. Either way, listening to Brick yell random phrases while running around is extremely entertaining. Plus, his missions normally involve random objectives that are somehow related to excessive violence.

Dr. Patricia Tannis

Dr. Patricia Tannis is bat-sh*t insane, plain and simple. However, this is the exact reason why she is a great character. Her first appearance in Borderlands was a series of ECHO recordings (audio diaries) that documented her initial arrival on Pandora as a bright-eyed scientist. As time went on, the rest of the recordings showed that she was starting to slowly lose her mind as her colleagues were eaten by skags and spiderants. Later ECHO recordings and actual conversations were filled with her insane rambling and weird references. The absolute best part about Patricia Tannis is the style of missions that she sends you on. Her missions involve finding random escaped test subjects (the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), or collecting robot parts for her insane creations. Tannis may be legally insane, but she is also the key to opening the Vault and ruling the universe. How is that possible?

Mister Torque High-Five Flexington

Gearbox has created some unique and over-the-top characters before, but none of them were as crazy and entertaining as Mister Torque High-Five Flexington (yes, that is his real name). Torque is originally introduced in the DLC pack, Mr. Torque’s Campaign of Carnage, as a bodybuilding/murder fanatic. He is the manager of a deathmatch competition who narrates the entire experience by screaming random phrases—including fake guitar solos—into your ECHO device. Torque also creates weapon vending machines that will only sell explosion class guns because, and I quote, “BLOWING SH*T UP IS F$#KING AWESOME!” Yes, a vending machine screamed that phrase at me when I purchased a new weapon. I thought it was impossible for Torque to get any cooler until he forced his way into Tiny Tina’s Assault on Dragon Keep. This DLC pack was created in the style of Dungeons and Dragons, which doesn’t really fit Torque’s style, but he still wanted to be part of the game. He forced his way into the fantasy world just to give you a shotgun that shot exploding swords at enemies. However, Torque had to take a nerd trivia test just to be included in the fantasy world, and the result was hilarious. Simply put, Torque is a perfect character for anyone who loves explosions, bleeped swears, and craziness.

Claptrap

Is there any character in Borderlands better than Claptrap? This weird, little robot is the last of his production line—because that jerk Jack destroyed the rest—but that doesn’t stop him from having fun, taking risks, and irritating the other residents of Pandora. Claptrap is always the first person you meet in Borderlands, and he is also a main quest-giver in both games. Claptrap would be a standard character, but his dancing, singing, and accessorizing add some uniqueness. The best Claptrap moment came when he organized a revolution with his still-functioning product line. The robots tried to take over Pandora and murder those “useless meatbags” that resided on the planet. Additionally, Claptrap created special Che Guevara posters to inspire other robots during the revolution. Claptrap is such a popular character that he has officially been made playable in the upcoming Pre-Sequel. I am very interested to see how the lack of legs and a lower perspective affect the overall gameplay. It probably won’t make much of a difference, but I’m still excited to take the little robot for a spin…that came out wrong. I mean, having Claptrap as a playable character is great. Closing

Well, there you have it. Those are my favorite characters from Borderlands 1 and 2. Who are your favorites? Should I be ashamed for not including Tiny Tina? Let me know in the comments.