Quick Reviews of Stupid Comics 6-23-17

Editor’s Note: This post contains language that is not safe for work (NSFW). Shitty niggle fuck tits. (HAPPY JOEL? I PUT A NSFW WARNING IN THESE! (I WILL NOT BE SILENCED))

You ever notice that clouds look too much like clouds? It’s fucked up, right? Like, I’m not saying we live in a simulation because that would be stupid; however, if we did, it would explain why clouds look too much like clouds. Grass too, honestly. Like, it all looks the same, feels the same, and grows at the same rate. That sounds pretty computer-programmy to me. I mean sure, the Fibonacci Sequence is fucking strange, but nature could cook that up on her own. She’s a brilliant cook! She invented chicken. But clouds and grass? I dunno. That’s some shit.

You know what else is some shit? Some fuckin’ comics!

I Hate Fairyland #13

Well now, this issue certainly got Conker’s Bad Fur Day didn’t it? I haven’t seen that much poop humor since the last time I fought the Great Mighty Poo and flushed him. I’m not complaining. If nothing else, these Quick Review prove that I’m immature as hell. That I like I Hate Fairyland probably proves that too. It’s good shit, is what I’m saying…? I mean it is, but I can’t tell if that’s what I’m actually saying or not. Sometimes I play 4D chess with myself. Well, more like 2D. I have no real depth perception so anything more than 2D just gives me a headache.

Old Guard #5

Greg Rucka is the fucking best. Well, one of the fucking bests. He’s competing with Gaiman and Lemire, but man, talk about a trifecta! (I’d include Snyder but Snyder keeps writing Batman books…). Anyhow, Old Guard has been an absolute delight of fun premise, fun action, and fun fun. I like it a lot, and #5 really capped off the first arc well. This is a keeper. It’s Rucka though, so that shit is obvious.

Black Monday Murders #6

Black Monday Murders is still one of the best books out right now. I’m drunk and even I know that. Man, the world building here is just through the fucking roof, the artwork is amazing, and the mystery is more captivating than a…really good mystery! Nailed it. The only flaw of #6 is that it’s a shorter issue–not a 50 pager–and doesn’t have some of the prose like the others. The pacing isn’t hindered, but I miss the crazy documents with redacted information. Still, great book. If you aren’t reading this, you should reconsider. Also we live in a simulation.

Batman #25

This would have been an amazing book had Batman not been in it, or basically every Tom King Batman book. The Joker/Riddler stuff is so fucking good, and then Batman talks over all of it with unnecessary bullshit. I’m not sure what Catwoman sees in the man, since she obviously can’t look at his head. He’s got it too far up his own ass.

Shirtless Bear Fighter #1

Huh. So this was a thing. Part of me is like, “fuck yeah” because this was fairly fun and funny; however, the other part of me is crossing his arms and going, “yeah but it wasn’t funny enough.” It really wasn’t. Bearrorists is a great portmanteau, but I need a bit more than a shitty pun to sell me on 30 pages of comic book. I think…I think this one might be worth a read if you partake in booze or pot. I read it sober, and that was maybe a huge mistake. It’s Grizzly Shark humor but a hair smarter, if that means anything. It shouldn’t.

God Country #6

This book is fucking perfect. Buy the trade. It’s a 10/10

Wonder Woman Tasmanian Devil Special #1

Okay, so we have to ignore the artwork for a second–it’s bad–because honestly, this book wasn’t as shit as I thought it would be. It has big tonal problems, but Wonder Woman partnering up with the Tasmanian Devil to oust the Minotaur is kind of cool. I mean, it’s more interesting than last week’s Kill the Minotaur which played the whole myth as straight as a fuckin’ arrow. It’s biggest flaw is that it isn’t that funny. The idea is funny, and there are some cute moments, but the book itself is devoid of Loony Tunes humor, which is a problem when you have a fuckin’ Loony Tunes character as a costar. Otherwise, I didn’t hate it. You could do worse with DC (which isn’t saying much).