Hey everyone, I’m decently sauced up, so let’s fuckin’ do this shit!
But before we do, we have to talk Kirby. You know, the giant, pink puffball lookin’ motherfucker. I think he shits out of his mouth. I mean, have you ever seen an asshole on a Kirby? No! He’s like a clam. Food goes in, and food goes out, and you can’t explain that. Shit is like the tides. He eats and poops out of the same mouth because he is a primitive creature with some strange magic to him. It’s fucked up, and we should be enraged. Or hard as a rock. Hard (lawl) to tell. So next time you’re playing Kirby in Super Smash Bros, just remember that when you suck someone up, they’re being covered in the poo that’s stuck between your teeth and tonsils.
YOU CANNOT UNSEE THAT IMAGE
Oh. Comics!
Underwinter #5
It’s fucking fantastic. Wow, that one was fast.
Crosswind #2
Normally I fucking hate body-swap stories, but Crosswind is making it work. The thing that helps is both characters swap, they get the info that their world is fucked right away, and then they’re forced to deal. There’s no confusion. I mean, there is, but it’s front loaded. It gets the annoying shit out of the way and contextually gets the plot going. In hindsight, that’s some obvious answers to some obvious problems, but hey, I’m blind as a bat. No 20/20. Also, the issue is really, really funny. That helps.
Redneck #4
Speaking of funny, Redneck #4 is bringing the humor. After some really dark plotting, some fucked up vampire shit, and some third thing, a bit of humor is really what this comic needs. It helps that it’s being used to sell what is essentially exposition. Writers take note: If you make exposition fun, it’s fun to read. Who fucking knew, amiright? But yeah, I got no complaints here. There’s also some great world building thrown in because Cates is turning into a national fucking treasure. God I’ll follow him till the ends of the Earth. But not to Marvel. Fuck Marvel.
Black Hammer #11
The plot fucking thickens! There’s a ton going on in this issue, from character to plot, and it’s all great. Jeff Lemire is a fucking treasure too. Hey, we can have a ton of comic book treasures in a week. No rules against that. Big o’l fucking chest of jewels up in this bitch. Gail takes the spotlight as per usual, but man, she’s extra heartbreaking here. Fuck me the character work in this book is off the charts. Seriously, if you like super heroes, you should check this one out. It’s good stuff.
Wayward #22
It’s more Wayward. That isn’t a bad thing, but this far in, it’s maybe not a good thing either. I’m satisfied but not blown away. It doesn’t help that Rori might be turning into some PROPHECY character. Come on Jim Zub. I know you can do better. If you don’t throw a big ol’ fucking twist at me next month, Ima be pissed. This series has been nothing but fucking with my expectations, so to even go near mundane is kind of offensive.
Wonder Woman #27
So wait, she wears her suit underneath her civilian clothes while at a wedding? Come on. Okay, so this comic is a bit strange. On the one hand, it has the heart of Wonder Woman and some adorable fucking artwork to match. It works. On the other hand, it wraps up the plot of the first issue too fast and with no real satisfaction, so it doesn’t work. It feels trite. It doesn’t look trite, and tonally it isn’t, but plot wise it is. I really, really want to like this, but I kind of don’t. However, I don’t dislike it, so I guess we’re in a situation. Until next time, I suppose.
