I believe that certain universal truths exist and should be celebrated—especially those that relate to John Malkovich’s ability to play a psychopath. This ability seems to be the basis of the pilot of NBC’s new pirate-centric show, Crossbones.
Crossbones is a show focused on the life of Blackbeard, and his pursuit of a special tool called the Longitude Chronometer that was designed by the British Navy to combat pirates. To be perfectly frank, I thought that Crossbones was simply NBC’s answer to Black Sails, the treasure island series on Starz; however, I was pleasantly surprised by the pilot episode.
The episode starts off by explaining the overall plot of the series, which is “the British Navy need to find a way to successfully combat or avoid the pirates who destroy their ships, so they develop a top-secret device to help navigate the dangerous sea.” It is during the device’s maiden voyage aboard the HMS Petrel that we are introduced to Thomas Lowe, a physician with more skills than he advertises. Blackbeard’s pirates attack the ship and try to capture the device, but Lowe destroys the device and poisons the only man who knows how to build a new version or read the coded instructions. This opening battle showcased a surprising amount of violence for a show on NBC. I don’t need over-the-top gore to make a good battle scene, but I do require some violence and blood to make it more believable. NBC definitely didn’t shy away from shooting innocent sailors or slitting throats, so the battle was more intense and entertaining.
During this time, we are treated to a flashback that explains how Thomas Lowe isn’t simply a physician; Lowe is actually James Bond, Jason Bourne, and Odd Job combined in a pirate shell. His mission is to either successfully deliver the device to Jamaica or assassinate Blackbeard, depending on the situation. We are also introduced to Lowe’s commanding officer that isn’t intimidating in appearance but is a big fan of viciously murdering pirates.
Thomas Lowe, Super-Spy.
After the attack on the HMS Petrel, the pirates capture Lowe and his assistant, Fletch and transport them to Blackbeard’s hidden island in an attempt to keep Frederick Nightingale (the device’s creator) alive long enough to build a new Longitude Chronometer. This is when we finally catch our first glimpse of John Malkovich’s Blackbeard in all of his psychopathic glory.
Blackbeard enters.
Blackbeard introduces himself to Lowe by doing what he does best—slicing a random sailor’s neck open with no explanation. He then threatens Lowe with brutal torture unless he can keep Nightingale alive and well, which is virtually impossible at this point because of the poison. Nightingale dies, but Lowe finds a way to keep himself alive and useful to Blackbeard—a fact that the other pirates are none too pleased with.
After this point, Crossbones begins introducing characters at a rate that makes it almost impossible to keep up with. There are the essential grunt pirates that Blackbeard keeps around like Charles Rider and Eisengrim, the pirate femme fatales who secretly plot against Blackbeard, and a love interest for Lowe who happens to already be in a relationship. All of these characters appear to have their own separate storylines throughout Crossbones, which could be overwhelming if they aren’t handled well.
Charles Rider appears to be Blackbeard’s right-hand man.
Much of Crossbones’ pilot is spent with the character introductions, so much of the action happens in the final 10 minutes, a span of time in which Lowe shows off his super-spy skills and secretly poisons Blackbeard, only to save him later. None of this makes sense to the pirates, but it is explained earlier when Lowe discovers one of the femme fatales meeting in secret with a Spanish commander. Lowe figures this to be an act of betrayal towards Blackbeard, so he rushes to his aid to find out why.
The end of the episode shows Lowe going for a swim with the love interest while Blackbeard and her significant other watch from a window. They discuss how Blackbeard is keeping Lowe alive until the device is built, but he is also keeping the spy under close watch in case he decides to commit more treachery.
Crossbones’ pilot was definitely an entertaining episode, but it did have some minor issues. Some of the characters have beautiful accents that fit with the time period and location, but others are pretty terrible. It seemed like some of the pirates had a stereotypical American accent that didn’t quite fit with the other characters. One other issue was the focus of the episode. I understand that Thomas Lowe is essential to the series, but NBC advertised Crossbones as being purely focused on Blackbeard. He definitely didn’t get as much time on screen as I would have preferred. Don’t misunderstand, Lowe isn’t a bad character at all; I enjoyed watching him perform his super-spy acts. One strange thing about Lowe was the fact that he could see someone from 50-feet away and immediately repeat the contents of their hypothetical dossier. I spent most of the episode waiting for Lowe to start explaining the cook’s history because he obviously knew so much about everyone else. I appreciate that the show’s creators wanted Lowe to be a knowledgeable character, but he simply knew too much to be fully believable.
Those small issues aside, Crossbones is definitely worth watching. John Malkovich plays Blackbeard to perfection, and every scene he is in becomes infinitely entertaining. One scene in particular shows Blackbeard teaching himself acupuncture because he has a nasty habit of seeing ghosts while bleeding from the nose. He actually has a conversation with Thomas Lowe about his headaches and a hallucination that implies this storyline will keep showing up throughout the season. I can’t wait for that explanation.
One of the best scenes in the entire episode.
One reason why Malkovich is so entertaining as Blackbeard is his acting ability. He will switch from whimsical to threatening to happy in a matter of seconds, and each emotion makes perfect sense at the time. On that note, how does John Malkovich’s Blackbeard compare to Ian McShane’s from Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides? McShane has a better beard, but Malkovich is better at everything else. The Blackbeard from Pirates of the Caribbean was focused purely on his own survival and being menacing while Crossbones’ version is focused on treasure, bedding multiple women at the same time, and keeping his pirate family safe.
Crossbones had a very strong pilot episode, and I absolutely hope that the rest of the season is just as entertaining. I can’t wait to find out more information about the pirates; especially those that want to betray Blackbeard. I also hope that the show will explain in later episodes how Thomas Lowe is so knowledgeable about every inhabitant of the Caribbean.
Is Crossbones worth taking a chance on? Absolutely!
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