Holy shit guys, nine eight 17! The horror! Devoured by a cannibal; cut down in his prime! Get it? 17 is a prime number. Not divisible by anything more than itself and one, which is the whore of numbers. It divides with everyone like it’s some kind of fucking number pimp when really it’s the loneliest number. Like, it’s satisfied on the outside, but inside it’s dead…inside. Nailed it. Just like one nailed all the other numbers! And your mom!
When you masturbate, you are dividing with yourself.
When one masturbates, it’s fucking your mom.
Comic books.
Astro City #47
Oh my god this book was so fucking cute and adorable and fun and charming and oh my god! I mean, the dog is going to die. We all know it will. That’s what dogs do. You ever see an immortal dog? No. Even Cerberus got killed and he has three fucking heads. That’s thrice the dog! So while this will be the comic book equivalent of Marley and Me, well, that’s okay. I kinda lost my train of thought if I’m being honest. Good book though! Now where’s me Autumnlands?
Batman #30
Man[bat], there’s a lot of really nice visual storytelling in this book. Pretty art is pretty. Shame the words are mostly meh. I guess it can’t be a Batman book without some disappointment though. Like, I don’t know who Kite Man is, so I’m not in on the joke. It’s funny that he gets his ass beat, but I also don’t feel like the story is really progressing much while I watch it. It’s trying too hard to be funny and dark at the same time, and it really needs to just pick one. That being said, not the worst Batman book I’ve ever read.
Motor Crush #6
This has been, by far, the best issue of Motor Crush I’ve read. The writing is on point, the artwork is on point, and the bullshit is on point. I really, really hope this is a symptom of a good disease to come.
Fruit Ninja #1
I’ll be honest, I only read this book so I could make Jean-luc read this book. I figure he’d hate it. Probably did! Though if I’m being honest, it ain’t bad. Yeah it’s a mega kids book, and yeah some of it doesn’t work, but on the whole, it’s inoffensive and charming. It’s also irrelevant because no one gives a fuck about Fruit Ninja anymore, Still, I liked the middle story and the 4th wall editor comments, which normally come off as “trying too hard.” Here they fit very well.
Made Men #1
Good idea, bad execution. The good idea: Frankenstein horseshit, the bad execution: Writing horseshit. It’s mostly just kind of stupid. Like, the idea isn’t smart, but there are limits.
Superman #30
I don’t know what’s going on nor do I give a fuck. Some of the art is pretty, and some of the writing is really, really bad, but on the whole, it’s…just basic as hell. Superman deserves better, but I’m not sure DC fans do.
